I love talking with people who aren’t necessarily part of my circle of friends or family—anyone from “strangers” in line at the store or library, to people I meet while reporting a story. I also love knowing and interacting with my neighbors. And as we’ve moved around, I’ve noticed many people still deeply value neighborliness—and yet there is very little discussion in the larger culture about what it means to be kind to someone just because you live near them.
In my rural town, being a good neighbor can look like driving a carless neighbor to medical appointments or the store, or maybe giving another neighbor a ride to work after they get an OUI. Letting your neighbor know if you see a strange car in their driveway when they’re away. Plowing someone out just because you can, checking on people during power outages, or helping stop a controlled burn that’s gotten out of hand. Inviting someone to hunt on your land, or gifting venison after you go hunting on theirs. Trading and donating childcare, baby things, outgrown kids’ clothing. Convening work parties for big projects and inviting people into your yard for maple sugaring near the end of winter. Helping some people navigate some of the bureaucracies the world requires—or helping others knowledge navigate the essential skills the world requires, like using a chainsaw, caring for animals, or home repair.
Anyway, what I’ve been thinking about lately is that one thing being a good neighbor doesn’t mean is having to necessarily be friends with someone or sharing their views in order to show them care and consideration. Nor does it mean turning a blind eye if someone does or says something you strongly disagree with. It just means that geographic affinity can become a starting point for mutual respect and care.
RURAL LINKS:
“Finding Fred” Carvell Wallace hosts one of my favorite podcasts series of all time, about the original neighbor, Fred Rogers. A perfect comfort listen.
“The Last Generation” is a photo essay by Bob Miller about Jackie Allen Jr., a farmer in Kentucky facing the reality that the family farm likely ends with him.
“Little Medicine Thing” features North Carolina herbalist Emma Dupree in her own words; I learned about this video reading Khalilah L. Liptrot of THE BLACK THIRD.
“A Secret History of Psychosis” is set in rural New York state. I was struck by the dignified way Ellen Barry portrays Cohen Miles-Rath, Randy Rath, and where they live.
“Chuck Norris Played Too Good a Bad Guy to Stay One” Chris Klimek on the man who gave the world Walker Texas Ranger. (Have to admit I don’t totally get the title.)